Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
