I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So apparently I’m into choking now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
