Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
