So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
