i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
