No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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