in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize