i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
