Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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