is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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