She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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