Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize