Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
