Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize