and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
