She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have tasted many bathrooms
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
