The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
