threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sorry about my life...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
