but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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