HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
