i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
