Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize