I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
