This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
