I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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