We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
