fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I faked an abortion last night.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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