So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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