if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
