You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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