so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're a waste of cheezeits
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
