where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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