if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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