When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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