"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
