I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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