Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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