i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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