I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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