I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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