Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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