just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
