I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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