I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There r osticjed everywhere
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
