dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
