Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
