I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i drank out of a bidet.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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