I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize