I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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