ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
