Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize