seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
