how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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