you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize