I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
