hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize