i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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