I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
