I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
two words: eviction party
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
