Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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