I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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