Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
apparently the secret to your success is patron
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
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My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.