im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.