im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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